The First Prayer...
By Darkwun

Dear Lord

I know im not a religious person. I don't pretend to be. You can probably thank Dad for that! But if there's even the tiniest iota of a chance you're real... and writing this will actually make a difference... well I'd b a fool not to be.

 I've never asked for much... just happiness for me and my family. Howler Growler the WereBear (which i never got, thank you very much!). Yet still, true happiness is always presented to me and and taken away at the last second.

 They say you test the most special of your children. In that case... I get it! I'm special! Thy point is well and truly taken! I've shed tears. I've shed blood. You gave me a beautiful son, of which I'm gratetful. If my sole purpose was to bring him into this world, then I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive. But twice I've cheated death... twice Ive faced my mortality, ok wasn't  old enough to remember it the first time... but yet still... I'm here. If I have a greater purpose... please I beg of you... let 2010 be my year. A fresh start. Let me be the person I deserve to be. I'm fed up of wandering deserts, crucifix's just dont suit me, and lets just say, im out of Analogies, cuz what I know about biblical history could be written on a stamp. The Lord Giveth... the Lord taketh away... well if you're gonna take away again, I want my god damn money back! lol.

 It's time. I want my own life. My own family. You've sent me a challenge... as always... I will overcome... but this time... let me win? I won't tell anyone... our little secret yeah? ;) lest not our eyes be blinded by the future, for the light of the present shall lead the way. Do you like that one? I just made it up. Don't go stealing it for your next book; "The Bible 2: revenge of Jesus." :p sorry excuse my blaspheming, but hey, you made me what I am so my mom tells me. And gimme a break will ya, apart from miming in school, this is the first damn prayer I've ever made and I'm probably talking to myself!

 Just... let this be the last time? Ruth. Tyrese. The new me. Everything fits so well... yet i can see you taking this all from me again. Remember LJ...? I certainly do. I cry to this day.  But she's played no small part unto who and what I am. Don't let her loss be in vain... Ruth... you sent me an angel... Albeit one with a dirty face... but nonetheless... she makes me happy... happier than I have been for a long time. I'm not sure how she found her way into your flock, but gives me hope that maybe... there's a path for all of us... it's in no short part her faith that has me talking to you at this precise moment. I can see her in my future... I can see her in my present... but I don't want to look back and see another girl of my past.

I've fought hard to be a good Dad, despite the mother you gave to my child (Seriously? what the hell was that about!  Your day off or something!?). I've been there for him through thick and thin. I didn't ask for his arrival, yet I have never left his side. as he's never left mine. He's my religion. He is my faith. But as perfect as he is... a child alone cannot fill a heart... Ruth has filled so much of mine in such a short period of time, it's hard to imagine what you planned for us us if not together. You throw lots of tiny little challenges at me... and I overcome... today... wow... that knocked me for six... it killed me dead. But... I'm not giving up... if i have to sacrifice my own beliefs for hers... so be it. I will NOT fall at this hurdle. Do you hear me? I'm battered... I'm bruised... but I'm gonna keep fucking running. That's right... I'm cursing in a prayer, I'll do my Hail Mary's in a minute! If i have to change everything I am... even at great sacrifice to my heart... I'm gonna do this. Once I gain momentum I can't be stopped... that's right... I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH (that's a quote, no smiting me for cussing you down)!

I've put my all into this.... I haven't the strength to try again. No more false hope?

... Oh... and if it's not too much trouble... Can you put Jamie Oliver back in whatever dirty hole he came from? that would be 'Pukka' :p

                                                                      Amen.

ps Dude you were HOT in Dogma!

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