Fancy dress
By johnnydolla

FANCY DRESS.   I’ve just won second prize in a fancy dress competition and I didn’t even know that I had entered it !What happened was ,we were having a party for my daughters 30th birthday, and the guests started arriving early, (they had heard about the free booze!) so I hadn’t had time to change as I was in charge of “meet and greet” shame that, as my fancy dress outfit was to be a look alike of George Clooney, quite fitting I thought. Anyway by the time all the guests had arrived it was to late so I just had to go as I normally dress. There was some terrific fancy dress costumes, and the guests were commenting on the variety and clever costumes of the 65 guests. Someone suggested a prize for the best costume, and a runners up award for second and third contestants, well imagine my surprise when I was voted for second prize! As Victor Meldrew would have said “I don’t believe it” apparently I won the prize for “most uncoordinated dress sense” ! My family had often commented about my dress sense, or colour co-ordination, or lack of it. Then I had one of my brilliant ideas! So I looked on the internet for “Colour co-ordination for the modern man” it came back with 798,000 results! This is going to be trickier than I thought. I eventually found a web site that I thought might do. The advert said “Want to be noticed in a crowd, and make people look at you in amazement, then what you need is our new “MENS FASHION COLOUR WHEEL” Right I thought this is just what I need, so I sent off my money, apparently they only dealt in cash, for £ 25.00. Plus £5.00 p.p. which I thought quite reasonable for, “Sartorial elegance for the modern man”I had to wait four weeks for the “colour wheel” to arrive, apparently there was some trouble with the colours! When the “colour wheel” eventually arrived I was somewhat disappointed , it consisted of, six sheets of coloured paper, a paper clip and a pair of plastic scissors, apparently it is dangerous to send sharp metal objects through the post! I really had a lot of trouble making the “fashion wheel” as the instructions were in Chinese ! I eventually worked it out with the help of one of my daughters who is studying Chinese. What a waste of money that was, so I did what I should have done in the first place, asked my wife for some advice, funny that, women always seem to know everything. So she put matching sets of clothing for example, light blue shirt and dark blue jumper, on one hanger, beige shirt and brown jumper on another hanger, etc. and a chart hanging on the inside of the wardrobe with further suggestions for different colour combinations. So if you see a man walking through the village who looks completely out of place, that will be me! Personally I cant see what’s wrong with odd socks, the only person who should notice them should be your wife, when you get into bed…..Johnny Dolla

Most recent

Most popular

More